Comments on: She Said – Addiction Is Addiction, Damn It.

By: Babybloomr

Babybloomr — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 01:46:11 +0000

My husband and I have had this exact argument/discussion for over 20 years, and my gawd can I just say how incredibly depressing/ridiculous it feels to actually write that!
I GET the whole addictive personality thing, (he also drinks a shitload of coffee every day), and I get the crutch thing, and I get the switch addictions thing, blah blah blah. The bottom line to me has always been, ‘Don’t you want to get addiction out of your life completely?’ The whole hiding, sneaking, lying, covering up behavior is identical to drinking. And isn’t that behavior a major part of what creates such shame and lack of self-respect in the addict? I don’t know. It’s just yet another part of this disease that I will never understand. And you’ll have to excuse me if my recently-struck-nerve on this issue is showing…!

By: LatestDrive

LatestDrive — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:06:30 +0000

I should have mentioned that the reason I am accepting of this addition, in addition to the fact that it’s healthy, is a few years of studying the addictive personality. That’s why too many AA members also become more religious – I know this comment will be stomped upon but some of them become addicted to religion as the replacement, just as your husband turned to cigarettes.

There is something there that needs a constant focus – this is real, and likely will stay. Many top athletes are in fact addictive personalities – what else would prompt someone to work out 8 hours a day? So you do need to understand that this doesn’t go away, it is part of the person. Creating a healthy focus makes a huge difference, and the person then can have more positive feelings about themselves which addresses the underlying emotional issues.

By: LatestDrive

LatestDrive — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 02:51:35 +0000

I do believe in the addictive personality. I think it could take years of therapy to get into the underlying issues – but as a therapist told me once, you can go the Freud route – or you can try behavioral therapy to at least end the behaviors that are getting in your way. I think you need to do both.

My husband is Irish and has a number of alcoholics in his family. He too chose smoking for drinking. When he realized he was slowly killing himself that way, he took up running. THIS IS THE BEST ADDICTION EVER! He is very faithful to his healthy addiction – 10 years now. Yes, he has an addictive personality. He knows it, I know it, but the running is done nearly every day and no other addictions have surfaced since. It can get slightly annoying – those running shoes come on every vacation, and if he doesn’t go for a few days due to a cold or something he’s very fidgety – but I know I’ve got a bunch of annoying habits myself so I support this addiction 100%.

Perhaps your husband can find a healthy way to focus his addiction – working out, writing like mad in a journal, something that occupies his mind and his hands. Hopefully it won’t be eating as that one usually comes after smoking – and then he’ll need the running.

Good luck!