She Said – It’s the Zoloft, I swear

“Honey this is the exact same thing that happened the last time you tried taking Zoloft.”
“Yah, but I was still drinking then.”
“Right, but this is the same. You are NOT like this. This is NOT you!”
“Maybe I….”
“NO! Trust me, as an outsider looking in, I can see this. I can see the pattern. THIS IS THE ZOLOFT!”

And I realize that’s one of the hard things. He can’t see inside himself from the outside. None of us can.

He is doing such an amazing job of reaching out and trying to heal the underlying depression that is ultimately at work here. Therapy of all sorts, and even antidepressants, which I think is a good thing. But Zoloft has been a disaster both times we’ve tried it. I don’t know how to explain to him so that he really hears me that I can tell the difference between who he is FOR REAL and who he is when he’s altered.

I don’t know how to tell him to be strong and trust his instincts, except when he can’t and shouldn’t.

I don’t know how to dig him out of a drug-induced ditch without steamrolling his process. But I know I need to in this case, he needs to get off the Zoloft. The zoloft is having horrible side-effects, he is far worse than he ever has been. And it started when he started the Zoloft again. Exactly the same as last time.

This sucks.